I want 2019 to matter. I want to form new habits. We often procrastinate when it comes to trying out something new. Lately, social media had become something of a ‘to-do’ on a long list of things: must check and re-check phone, must like enough pictures (for fear of seeming too picky), must upload (for fear of missing out), must comment (to be noticed), must not go 2 minutes without checking my phone (ego asks to be stroked – I am so important, I am so busy) whether at work or while sitting with a friend for coffee or lunch or whether at a dinner engagement (I understand the world and your work – after all it is always work that beeps on your phone isn’t it honey – will come to an end or a standstill without your phone).
Yes, agreed, it is easier for me personally to have taken this social media detox challenge; I work from home, I work as a copy-editor, I work (4th Manuscript ah don’t even ask) on my novel), so yes I don’t have to depend on my phone a lot to make ends meet. But everywhere I look I see so many of you seem so overly obsessed with your devices, it’s unnerving!
On my 1st of 12 New Habits of 2019, January has been successful. You can call it a SMALL WIN. I could on and on about what accomplishments and success means to different people: for some (let’s admit it – for most) it is monetary and fame-driven – which is fantastic, don’t get me wrong; for a few others success could be as simple as “getting up and through the day without crashing and burning”. For me this self-imposed detox was a reminder that I am not a slave to social media – I own that shit!
I went off-grid and am back, did I learn something, why thank you for asking, yes I did, let me share:
- So if you’re anything like me, you love your music so much that you will listen to a track on repeat to death… you might also be nerdy enough to stay in your car, parked at your destination, but wait, you have to wait for the best part of the song to be over… Now that my notifications were all off, everything sounded so much better, no interruptions, no distraction from focusing on the ‘lyrics’ – I have to be able to look cool when I sing along with the song.
- I had much precious spare time to cook and clean at leisure. It was such a great feeling waking up to a perfectly clean home and to be solely preparing delicious meals for my boys, and the Music was playing in the background.
- It was exciting to get
surprise calls from a few friends; they actually made an effort to reach out to me over a phone call; if it weren’t for going off WhatsApp, and I never would have had that priceless pleasure. - It was also exciting to have a few wise, ahem, queries pop up about my decision; on one end were purely the curious ones asking ‘oh, why so?’ And on the other end were those who were like ‘don’t you have any friends on Fb; I guess you don’t do much over the weekends? You don’t have a job like me, so I guess you can do it!’… Nope, I am not telling you who said what!
- There was a thing called jazz once. The first two weeks whenever I would itch to check Instagram, I would ask Alexa to play some jazz for me and I fell in love all over again.
- I’ve been attempting meditation since years now; being mindful and having clarity of vision can really help. Knowing I didn’t have to check up on anything on the phone or be distracted by the constant desire to check the latest updates, I was able to let go and create much-needed space and time, both physically and mentally.
- I set the alarm for every hour and got into the habit of …. Tada…. I was drinking my 8 (and more) glasses of water.
- I love jotting down random thoughts and ideas on to paper. I had been distracted for a few years; the time I was spared due to the lack of social media, got me back to an old love.
- I cleared up a lot of important emails. I had been procrastinating replying to individual emails and getting ahead with renewing important passwords and data. My email is now set to ZERO – i.e., zero pending!
- I deleted a lot of the apps when I began the detox, i.e., Instagram, messenger, Pinterest, Twitter, exercise apps, and several others. Now that I am back on I know for sure what I want, and hence many have not been re-downloaded.
- I missed Instagram! Yes that is one that I did miss, and it felt good to realize that I do like some social media platforms – I was beginning to fear that I am weirder than I initially claimed to be! I missed a few dear and sweet souls on Instagram – some I do enjoy interacting with, I was beginning to look forward to going back on Instagram to be a part of their lives again. It felt good to feel so.
- I realized that constantly being on social media caused so much ‘decision-fatigue’; what post to like, what not to, what to tweet, witty comments to have on hand, clever come-backs to replies by others, shall I sound smart or humorous, hmm.
- I took fewer pictures and loved every one of them since none of them were being scrutinized for perfection to upload. Ah, now I’m a great photographer as well.
- I decided to start writing posts to upload to my website like this one. YAY!
- As soon as I woke up after a good night’s sleep, I began the day drinking water, made my bed and played and lazed with my Persian Pet Pal. It barely took 10 minutes of my time, but it is only after a few minutes that I would remember to fetch my phone and turn on the volume and switch off ‘do not disturb.’
- Road Rage is something I deal with much better lately. I’ve realized I should have the phone on silent or ‘car mode’ while driving; the experience is so much safer and less hazardous. I mean seriously can’t we all go 15 minutes without checking our phones. If yes, you are an extremely important and busy person and should hire a chauffeur, or you have a lot to hide and being in your car alone …. Ah,
naughty naughty …. I get that you need to take important calls – I pray that is over ‘Bluetooth’ – but do you need to check every notification! - I enjoyed watching Netflix with much more intensity. I really got into the characters and the stories. Ooooh, the cinematic world has always been so attractive to me, now even more so.
- I started to feel my attention span increasing. I could focus on something for more extended periods. I thought I was suffering from ‘brain fog’ and discovered it was ‘digital fog.’
- Yes, I did wonder if some will think that I’m making a big deal out of this, but you know what, I don’t care. It is something I wanted to do, and I did it. It didn’t harm anyone, and I gained a lot of insight into myself, and it feels great to build a new habit. It was, in fact, halfway through the detox that I decided to take this new ‘habit forming’ exercise into the rest of the year (for February – it is going to be trying out Intermittent Fasting).
- The past few trips to Shaheed Park were so blissful – just me, my music and the park! I kept the volume on a lower level, and rejoiced in the sound of my footsteps; I noticed the smiles I got from meeting other walkers eye to eye, the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind, the sound of crickets hiding in the bushes, so very surreal.
- I re-programmed myself to look at people on a ground level – clearing the cache of my mind from pictures posted on social media – those are their lives and stories as well but only a very tiny part of what they want you to see. I needed that reminder.
- One of the biggest blessings has been the clearing of unnecessary mind chatter and useless information. I would at times look at lives of people who I have never even met and compared myself to them; yes I know what some of you may be thinking – I should be getting inspired by them instead of comparing – but honestly I didn’t even want to be like them; why then the discomfort that arose in me.
- Unfriended or unsubscribed from a lot of accounts before I went off-grid; I wanted more of what I loved on my newsfeed when I got back on it, and I love it.
- I got to spend quality time with my son, having meaningful conversations over lunch. I remembered how I would always ask him to post on Fb or Instagram, and now I admired him for not being sucked into the FOMO notion.
- Took regular naps on many sneaky weekdays and it felt great to leave the volume as is on my phone, after all the apps were all deleted. Other times, I would just let my mind wander and daydream – oh that’s a thing that still happens people yes!
- I broke the notification addiction from most platforms, will keep the email notifications ON, the rest I can refer to as and when I like, I am not falling back into that trap.
- Ideas began to come back to me; I could do this, and I could do that, yes and yes and yes… I have BIG plans for 2020. 2019 is all about putting the work in towards an assured success.
- I gave more of me into whatever I did do during the month, be it painting my nails, or working on articles, or cooking for hubby and son or going for long walks.
- I read a little every morning; a book (physical, kindle or audible) and a news article. There is always so much to learn, and my hunger just grew and grew. It’s never too late.
- I fell back in love with the BEAUTY OF SOCIAL MEDIA. There is so much we can learn from one another; so much to be inspired by and to inspire; so much to say and be heard; I realized it is not all bad, it just needs to be controlled and balanced like everything else in life. Sometimes, we need to stop, go on a trek up the mountain and look down to get a broader view of things. From my perspective, I saw that I love connecting with people, but I love my space equally if I can maintain a balance between the two – it’s a WIN-WIN situation for me, and that’s how each of us should feel like: A Winner.
- One more thing: I realized how I do not like it when am lead, provoked or propelled into a deep conversation and the said party couldn’t keep their hands and eyes (their mind and focus) off their phones. I am going to make a conscious effort to either not spend too much time with them; or when I’m with them, am not going to be pulled into exposing my passionate thoughts when I know I’m not being heard. They rightfully do not need to be judged by me (I need to keep my ego in check – that’s the challenge – I see you EGO); and I should respect myself enough to not put myself in a position that would evoke said judgment!
You do you. Be you. Keep Smiling. Keep Loving. Never give up!
Even if it is one small step, take that step to learn more about yourself.
I dare you!
2019 I Am Grateful For All That Is!